Feel-Good Psychologists Uncover Mind Tricks to Keep You Happy--No Matter What
By: Bean Jones
My computer crashed recently and I lost a great deal of work with it. I wanted to go bonkers. When one of my workmates encouraged me to "think positive," I snapped, "How exactly do I do that?" He shrugged and said, "I don't know...maybe you should write about it."
So, I started to do research on how to stay positive. I must admit that I was doing it half-heartedly at first. Fortunately, I came across Craig Lambert's "The Science of Happiness: Psychology Explores Humans at their Best," a cheery feature about the highlights of the Gallup International Positive Psychology Summit in Washington, D.C. last year.
The summit was hosted by the Gallup Institute for Global Well-Being, an organization which promotes expert research on the quality of life. Naturally, positive psychologists took center stage at the event.
Call me strange, but I felt much better after I read about these get-happy mind tricks from the experts:
1. Think about tomorrow. Psychology professor Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, says that we all need to practice "prospection"--the ability to believe that the future holds infinite possibilities for happiness. Sometimes, you just need to take time out so you can gain a positive perspective of a negative experience. There are times, for example, when you literally just have to "sleep off" whatever's bothering you so that you'd view the world with fresh eyes the next day.
2. Just get the good stuff. You have to keep yourself from going numb. Psychologist Ellen Langer, author of On Becoming an Artist: Reinventing Yourself through Mindful Creativity, advises people who've got the blues to just be "mindful" of the good things. Being on the lookout for things to cheer you up will keep you from breaking down.
3. Get some air. Evolutionary psychologist Nancy Etcoff, author of Survival of the Prettiest, says that places that offer refuge seem to support a sense of well-being . This is why most people get a boost when they're away from their usual environments. They are able to smile again when they're, say, on top of a hill or walking by the beach.
And you know what? Now that I think about it, having my computer crash might not be so bad after all. I'll finally get around to getting one that won't glitch out every now and then. I didn't even need to go to the beach to feel good after I realized that.
Comments
Yo Bean.. good one homie!
Being present also helps people to Be Happy. Living in the now not the past or future there is no way to have thoughts other than in the moment.
Yeah they are great tips... another one I would add is to focus on what is working, what you are grateful for. This isn't being Pollyanna at all... but all too often when things go wrong that's what we focus on and many of us know that we bring more into our life what we focus on -- so if you focus on the disaster of what happened (and my computer crashing would be total disaster for me at the moment) you will bring more of that kind of event into your life!
Jeanne
I like the author's writing style with just a few bullet points. Finally something I can take in without feeling like I've had something taken from me.
Cool information. Get some air is effective. Whenever i feel down or stress, i will throw away the things i am doing at the moment to get into the present. Take 10 deep and positive breathe. Simple yet effective.
A Buddhist teacher and good friend of mine, Shinzen Young said, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
So, let's look forward beyond the negative media and anticipate impending zoom.
If you feel bad about something, write your feelings down. It helps to process them.
Just count your blessing is not enough.Try looking ahead to what you can do and take action. I get alot of satisfaction from helping someone in need.
Single moms with children comes to mind. My lap top got dunked and a lot was lost but I keep on plugging and made my way through it.
Forgiving someone in your own mind will save you from a lot of stress.
Your third point got me to think on what we are doing each year. It is now the middle of winter in South Africa and it is normally in wintertime that people feel down and negative. Each year our church has an outreach into Africa to bring the Good Word to the people that have never had the opportunity. My wife and I run the camp for the group. I supply the wood and water for cooking and washing, while my wife does the cooking for two weeks. When you return from such an outing you feel on top of the world. When you see the poverty of people and how happy they still are in their situation, you cannot but feel that your problems are small in comparison.
Great Stuff!
To phrases I live by.
Look for the Good and Praise it!
and
Remember there is ALWAYS another way to look at this! - A Course in Miracles
Live in Joy!
I am not sure about the importance of imagination.I do know that mental movies are a great hindrances to the mind alertness.If our mind could live in the Now and here, I believe we should be happier and more conscious.Mental movies enslave our minds with past negative pictures of non-existent things. Now We can be happy and know that only Now exists.Everything that really exists, exists Now.Real hapiness is Now or never.
This is all true, feeling good allows you to progress and feeling bad would always keep you down, our family and colleagues are getting depressed from us when we are not in with positive attitude and we when down tend to notice and snap at things we would either laugh or not notice at all when we are in the positive thinking, in fact the happy stay ensures to take us to the levels of such happiness and abundance that making the extra effort to keep it worths a great deal after all. Good luck
I really like your articles Bean Jones. This is the first time I've come across them.
Sue
Interesting, Bean
My mother taught me about "just be 'mindful' of the good things" 50 years ago, but she put it a bit differently.
She said, "Stop and be thankful for what you have." And she didn't even have a psychology degree.
I cannot imagine how one can live just in the moment , without stagnating as if everything depended on the here and now.
It does ofcourse but without an idea of where why and what makes one happy and visualizing for that eventuality in the future giving (that state of being ) some perspective to the conceptualising of what makes one happy. How can it work?
Time is not stagnant it is an ever moving target. Moment by moment.It's hard to honestly say that what one has at the moment is making one happy just because one focus's on it.
How much progress would have been made to bring about the comforts we enjoy with an attitude of acceptance of the given?
No Happiness is in the striving to obtain that state. True happiness is in the journey to obtain it making friends on the way doing some good and singing. We might never get to Mecca but at least we have started the journey.
Yes being thankful for any blessings we have is good and makes for a few good stepping stones.;) I think.?
Hi,
This is really great to boost one's morale.
From my point of view, I would say that to remain happy all your life, you should never compare yourself with the one above you instead compare yourself with those lower than you.
For e.g, if you go to school by bus, never look at those going by car instead look at those who are walking to school.
All great points. But while looking to tomorrow can be beneficial, aren't there some positive lessons from the past, too? When I'm really in a funk, I think about what has helped pull me out of it in the past.
One of the the most valuable things for me in doing the Simpleology 101 Daily Praxes is looking back on the day and identifying what the boosters and the drainers of my day were. Keeping a list of the boosters, things I know from my own experience that I get a "lift" from, is like having my own personal bag of "mind tricks" to keep me happy.
Being balanced on at least 3 of the following 4 points is a great way to happiness.
Mind, body, relationships and Money.
I can't remember once when getting upset has helped matters.
- Mel
They say that every occurence has it's negative and positive.
What about the farmer:
The farmer's horse ran away and his friend feeling sorry for him, said to the farmer, 'I am sorry this happened to you'. The farmer replied 'Don't be for who knows what is good or bad'.
The next day the farmer's horse came back, this time bringing with it a herd of wild horses. The same friend said to the farmer 'Congratulations on your good fortune!' The farmer replied 'Don't, for who knows what is good or bad'.
Well. The next day the farmer's son tried to mount one of the wild horses and fell, breaking his leg. The friend said, 'I am sorry this happened to you'. The farmer replied 'Don't be for who knows what is good or bad'.
The next day soldiers came by the farm recruiting for the army, but the son, having broken his leg was exempt.
The story ends their but I am guessing by this stage the friend would have started by saying 'I….' before realizing that there is no point in judging anymore.
Hi,
interesting article. I think we do have a choice to be positive and happy or negative and unhappy. Take the learning out of good things as well as bad things. We can't alweis only have sunshine, there have to be rain sometimes. I can be happy no matter what it is just my attitude.
All of the above are great, positive comments. Sometimes it helps to ask yourself....what is the lesson here, what am I to learn out of this? Perhaps to ALWAYS have a back-up.....so even if your PC is lost - the work is not. And as the author realised in the end..."now I can get something even better to work on." Life is all about balance....out of bad comes good, out of pain comes joy.....look at the positive side and soon it will be such a small incident that you will laugh at yourself and your reaction. Smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone.
Thanks Bean,
I'm feeling under weather myself, and reading your way of getting out of the negative stuff encourage me to do the same, I think that you are doing very well and I like reading your stuff.
Joanne
Great tips, especially for home based business owners. Personally I find keeping a gratitude journal helps me stay positive. Emotional Freedom Technique-EFT helps in reversing negative emotions to positive. I will give credit to Simpleology 101-which prompted me to do DTP. While I started doing DTP, I had to add one tiny action as a part of Power Praxis. This prompted me to read more information on increasing energy. Thats how I started doing EFT and it helps.
I'd add:
4. Take a long view. Looking at how far we have come can help us put things in perspective. Sometimes we get so caught up in the recent one step back we forget about the three (or more) steps forward that preceded it.
Yes your computer crash was painful, but it wasn't that many years ago there were no computers. While people survived just fine without them, it is still good to pause and marvel at how much they have enriched our lives. And, as you discovered, they just keep getting better!
Nature is the grand nurturer, isn't it? People take pictures of it, paint landscapes from it, bask in it, swim and frolic in it and crave windows to see it. Taking a few minutes on the way to work, on the way home and any little time you can squeeze in to get out in it goes a long way. Just like the old folks always said... "there's nothing like the great outdoors."
OK. My computer crashed on Thursday July 17. I got the blue screen of death in the morning; it just would not boot up. I knew it was bad. I simply changed plans for the day. Then when I had time for it, I called my computer IT friend who owes us a favor (everybody needs an IT friend). He restored my data and I never fretted. I never lost my cool. I did lose lots of emails, though. And I had to re-do lots of data entry in Quickbooks. But it all comes with the territory and so I rebuilt my computer one day at a time.
I get the angriest when I get lost driving. I, who never swears, end up yelling like a sailor when I'm lost. We bought a navigation system, but even that can't help you when you don't know what city you're going to! In this case, I had to say WoooSaaa and breathe deep!
I have to agree with 'take the long view'. The biggest disasters in my life have turned out to be the greatest blessings - given enough time. I believe that every event in our lives, both good & seemingly bad, sends us in a new direction. The change can be so subtle that you bareley notice or so huge that you are either quivering in fear or euphoric with joy. You just don't know what effect these changes in direction will have on your life over time. The big disasters can lead to a direction that puts you in a much better place than you would have been in, had you continued in the direction you were going. I've learned to say to myself, as hard as it sometimes is, "I wonder what good things are going to come to me from this in the future?", when things go badly.
I am an artist and paint when I am depressed sometimes..I remembered when I list all the problems I had and back up with the thoughts that I precedence before and think how really it come out..or I can go to cycling with a 35km/h, making me inhale a volume of air when I am frustrated. Believe me, I do helpful and enjoyable activities when I the negative feelings in my thought consumed me, the effect is healing.