Three Guilt-Free Ways to Help You "Get Away" with Doing Wrong
By: Bean Jones
Nitpicking my own work has always been my specialty--and it proved to be my undoing about a week ago. Unable to sleep, I decided to go online and check out my posts for the nth time. My eyes were already bleary when I spotted a runaway comma. I had just clicked the "Save" button when a power surge had my computer shutting down. Still, I put my faith in the "Save" button and crawled to bed at about four in the morning.
Imagine how mortified I was when I checked my e-mail later that day and saw one from my boss that came with the heading, "Post Disappeared." Of course, I hurried to restore the missing post.
Over the next few days, I became obsessed with editing and re-editing my posts. I clicked on the "Save" button every five minutes. I got on a lot of people's nerves at work and they all said the same thing: "Get over it already!"
But I couldn't. (At least, not right then.) I needed help. So, I turned to some experts. Their advice seemed tailored for folks who act like the sky is falling when they goof up:
1. Let it die. Walter Anderson, in his book The Confidence Course: Seven Steps to Self-Fulfillment, says, "You must practice what I call RIP, which stands for responsibility, insight and perspective. It also means, as you know, Rest in Peace, which in itself may not be a bad way to look at your mistakes." So, when you goof up, take responsibility for it right away. Then, take to heart the lessons you learn from it. After that, all that's left for you to do is let go.
2. Laugh it off. "[When people feel] very depressed in the wake of having failed at something, they cancel plans and withdraw from social opportunities. They don't feel 'up to it,'" observes Dr. Nando Pelusi, a psychologist, in "How to Cultivate Humor." These people need to learn how to laugh at themselves. He explains: "Humor fosters acceptance of our humanness and our foibles." As long as your mistake didn't cause harm to anyone--you can go ahead and laugh about it.
3. Make it work. "Making mistakes is the key to making progress," says Daniel C. Dennett, a Philosophy professor at Tufts University and author of books like Brainstorms and Kinds of Minds. He adds: "There are times, of course, when it is important not to make any mistakes--ask any surgeon or airline pilot. But there are also times when making mistakes is the secret of success. They are, in an important sense, the only opportunity for learning something truly new."
Indeed, the missing blog post incident did me some good, as I've resolved never to try to do any work when my brain is running on empty. Thank goodness I'm not a surgeon or a pilot. (And, hey, at least I got a blog post out of it.)
Comments
Your posts are great value as well as being fun :)
I'd love to be able to add some of your posts on one of my blogs ... with full credit to you and full TrackBack links ... Is that ok?
I read all three of these articles and I believe this writer is going places! I mean, I seldom read a blog, much less comment on it, who's got the time? But I feel the sincerity within these posts and the author has a realgift for knowing how to reach his/her audience.
Well said, my two cents worth of thoughts though is that we should try to prevent making the same mistakes twice. There are those who tend to commit same mistakes over and over again. Even though minor mistakes might not be costly, however it does shows the lack of responsiblity nor focus on what we do..
Cheers
StargateRich
Let it Die, Laugh it off, and Make it work.
Good Points! I like these.
You really have a nice way
of putting things in right
perspective. In fact, you
have made it an art. Wish
i could do it the same way,
i mean learning things from
your mistakes. Cheers! :o)
Once, long ago, I had a friend that was recently "involuntarily" divorced with two small children to care for and no real child support to depend on.
She was a very smart lady with a genius IQ. She wanted to start her own home business in a field where she had some experience, but her self-esteem was at rock bottom and she was terrified that she would fail.
She was telling me all of this as we sat on the McDonald's playground watching our kids play. I looked at her and laughed and said, "Heck, failing is easy, I've done it lots of times...and I'm still here."
She told me later that my lighthearted words that day, had given her the courage to go for it.
Did she succeed? No, not in the long-term, but she did meet her short term goals, and in that place and time that meant the world to her.
Years later, when telling me how the story ended, she finished with a smile and said, "And I'm still here too!"
Mistakes like sticking your head on a choping block seem to be my undoing.
Banging my head against the wall is not an option.
Forgiving is my salvation.
I practice moving on to the next level of wisdom and my success.
Once again, Great stuff here.
The Universe rewards action. When you do something you get the reward of feedback. Then you can use that feedback to tweek what comes next.
Thank you for your great posts! You are appreciated!
Great post. I was just sitting here thinking I wouldn't do any work today because it all ended in failure anyway...boo hoo hoo. Your words helped me get over my pity party. Good job.
I look at what we call "mistakes" as signs to direct us.
- Mel
As the old dictum goes" a child soon recovers from the fall and walks further. A lesson which we should inculcate in our lives.
your pointed briefs are thought provoking and uesfull.
Take the learning and go on with you life. Every mistake is a stepingstone to the success, after all people that never make any mistake they usually don't do anything worthwile.
My take on this...? There is no such thing as a mistake in life. I call them lessons, and that includes everything from a "lesson" at work, to a divorce, to a car accident, to......whatever! Learn from it - grow out of it and grow up!! Let it go......
Great post. When things go wrong, I personally find, taking a deep breath helps me be in the moment. Once I am in the moment, I am able to think clearly why it went wrong. If it can be corrected I take action accordingly, otherwise I thank and forgive myself and this makes me feel better
Mistakes make us humble, if we take them that way... Humble Pie, ala mode--yum!
Hi, D'Arcy Mayo!
Sure thing. Go right ahead and link.
I like the bullets. In terms of simpleology, it just makes it simple; saves me time and still gives me the information. Thanks for simplifying my life.