Three Ways to Get Your "Dream Life" Without Selling Your Soul
By: Bean Jones
Always Priceless. Even credit card giant MasterCard points out that there are, indeed, some things that have no price tags.
I believed The Beatles when they sang about money not being able to buy love--or, for that matter, happiness. Little did I know that the wonderfully cheesy assertion crooned by The Fab Four would be backed by the findings of psychological research.
Cash and Cry
"Psychologists have spent decades studying the relation between wealth and happiness and they have generally concluded that wealth increases human happiness when it lifts people out of abject poverty and into the middle class but that it does little to increase happiness thereafter," states Harvard University psychologist Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness.
The "math" behind this discontent is downright heartbreaking. Cornell University economist Robert Frank, author of The Economic Naturalist, explains: "We humans are highly adaptable animals, quickly adjusting our expectations to new realities. As living standards increase, most of us respond by raising our own standards."
The "More" Mentality
Jokingly calling it the "once they've seen Paris" effect, Frank goes on to say that our instinct to want more than what we already have transforms things that were once tagged as luxury items into necessities.
Case in point: the mobile phone. The device, once considered a luxury item, is now deemed a must-have. Plus, it's not just a phone anymore. More and more people have, in fact, become addicted to constantly replacing their still-reliable mobile phones for juiced-up units that have what-nots they don't really need. I've seen high school kids toting mobile phones designed for stockbrokers on Wall Street.
A Genuinely Rich Life
As Frank points out, "[It seems that] we're working harder than ever to buy stuff that satisfies us less and less." To help us ditch this dizzying cycle of discontent, he offers practical suggestions on how we can all "get happy" no matter how much money we spend or don't spend:
1. Buy personal quality time. Working yourself to death just to maintain a posh lifestyle simply doesn't make sense. Consider cutting back on your hours and living below your means. Downgrading your life may take some getting used to but, in the end, you'll be healthier and can smile for real more often.2. Cash-in on contentment. According to Dr. Robert A. Emmons, author of the book Thanks!: How the Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, people who kept "gratitude journals" loved their lives more than those who didn't regularly take stock of the things that they should be thankful for. The simple truth: Count your blessings instead of counting on more money to make you happy.
3. Pick your splurges. Just because you have disposable income, it doesn't mean you should spend your money like there's no tomorrow. "Splurge on the things that bring you lasting pleasure and skimp on the rest," advises Frank. An added tip: Though you're earning more, don't fall into the trap of upgrading your lifestyle just because everyone tells you to. Hey, Wal-Mart boss Jim Walton is worth billions but you don't see him riding in flashy sports cars.
In any case, I've always thought that being rich is a state of mind. Sure, there are people who can buy the stuff they want right away--but that doesn't mean that they're a happier bunch. They just happen to have more money. When it comes to happiness, one's net worth doesn't figure into the equation. If it does, that's probably the kind of happiness that's more of a curse than a blessing.
Simply put: No money is worth giving up the life you deserve.
Comments
The real money problems will not be solved until FIAT currencies are eliminated throughout the world. Real money is not the root of all evil; fiat currencies are.
I agree with most of this. However, from personal experience, I can say that having more money than less bought me freedom to make choices I wouldn't have otherwise had (e.g. taking a 15-month sabbatical.) I think the caveat here is not just having money, but knowing what to do with it so that it can bring you happiness. However, now that my financial status has changed, and I don't have the income I once did, I'm not any less happy. Happiness is a state of mind - you choose it. (But money helps with the freedom part!) :-)
I fully agree with the study. I know that going from absolute struggle to more income does make one happier due to less worry. After that more money doesn't create happiness what it does give is freedom to choose and that freedom itself can be happiness.
Having money to take friends and family out for an expensive meal does not give me more happiness than only being able to afford to get together with them for a simple meal at home and they have to bring a plate of food as well. Being able to choose which I do is a separate joy as I am then grateful that I can share my bounty with them but the money I use to do this is not the key to my joy.
Being grateful that I have people to share with, being grateful that I know I can eat, being grateful that I have time for this is the key to my happiness. Anything else is an add on which I am grateful for.
Meg
Let me tell ya: it feels much better to be miserable with some money in the bank than miserable with no dinero. As for some of the "outrageous" luxuries in life: thank goodness there are people who DO support extraordinary "stuff" if they can afford it. Sometimes, creative genius doesn't lend itself to producing something for the masses. And ya know what? That's OK. Because we live in a universe with unlimited possibilities--and some choose to push their limits as far out into the universe as they can. Is it better to be a penniless monk or an emperor? Until we can live either life without judgment, we haven't evolved. One isn't "better" or "worse"--it just is.
Personally, I'll never be one for designer logo anything, yet after I examined some Chanel and Christian Lacroix apparel, I developed a deep appreciation for haute couture design (I used to sew, so I do understand the construction of garments). Their understanding of how fabric draped the human form was exquisite. I'm happy such a high level of excellence exists, even if I can never afford such a garment.
The Walton family made its billions in part by denying their store employees many benefits, in case anyone's memory needs jogging.
I love that MasterCard ad... it reminds us that our riches don't have a price tag. Sure it is good to have lots of things around us... but that's all they are, things... they are easily replaced and disposed of. And you can't take with you when you die!
Jeanne
yes i agree that having average money will make you more happier because you give your time for something that outlast it. Like love, we could never buy it, it's all for free. Unconditional love can only be experienced when you lack something and still people love you, they love you for who you are, not for what you have. Happiness is a choice try to let go of temporary and focus and eternal things i promised you'll have more satisfaction that can never be taken away for it is yours eternally. We must realized that we only want money to get the things that we desire, it is not money that we truly desire but the thing that it will give us, yes money can be a way to those things. But as soon as you arrived to that state wherein you already possessed what you want you will realized nothing can take the place of that, not even money! The best thing in life is always free...open your eyes and you will be satisfy with bread.
I completely agree with Frank's remarks. However if you really want to implement these suggestions and make it a part of your life easily and effortlessly, then You must do Simpleology 101, 102, 103. Doing Daily Target Praxis will help a lot.