The Most Important Life Skill of Them All: Hanging Tough
By: Bean Jones
One Good Book. Though its author has run into some controversy in the past, the book's message remains empowering.
If a book's got something good to say, then it will never get old.
My dad asked me to organize stuff for a garage sale my mom's planning over the weekend and I dug through a pile of books and magazines that date back to the 1950s. A voracious reader, my dad even had a trunk full of old Reader's Digest editions--the ones that have a series of articles like "I am Joe's Appendix," wherein a selected body part is made to "talk" in the first person.
In any case, my dad let me put everything into the "Sell" box. All except one book: Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do! by Robert H. Schuller. "Whooops! Not this one. This is timeless," my dad pronounced.
Curious, I looked through the dog-eared volume and--after a few pages--it was clear to me why my dad loves it so much.
The 1983 book is positive psychology (even if the term might not have been popular then) in action, as Schuller highlights proactive ways of looking at problems. He literally toughens you up with every page. Here are some of the points he raises:
1. You are not alone. Everyone has problems. A problem-free life is an illusion. Accepting this fact will help you to move on with your life rather than sitting and feeling pity for yourself.2. Be careful what you wish for. Many people have the mistaken notion that successful people do not have any problems. It is not true. Success tends to breed its own set of problems. Think about it this way: The grass on the other side only looks "greener" because it's fake grass. Simply put: Many people in high-profile jobs are shocked to learn that their spiffy workplace is actually a cutthroat arena where niceness and fair play are practically unheard of.
3. Ditch being perfect. We all fall into the negative thinking rut from time to time. We badger ourselves with "should haves" and lose sight of the fact that life is often complicated. The pursuit of perfection can lead to anxiety, depression, feelings of inferiority, perfectionism and anger. Allow yourself to fail now and then--just have the guts to own up to your mistakes and never blame anyone else for it. Moreover, learn from your mistakes.
Bottom line: Schuller asserts that "tough people have learned to choose the most positive reaction in managing problems." He adds: "The choice is up to you. A problem can make you better or bitter. It all depends on you."
These days, if you want to speed up your journey to self empowerment, check out the Kaizen Club. Because, goodness knows, we could all use a little help to uncover the best versions of ourselves.
Comments
This is one of those posts where I know will stick in my mind!
Thanks Bean.
In fact when we have problems, we tend to get into VICTIM mode and find ways to run away from problems instead of finding solutions. This book is worth reading again and again.
These are great ideas for improvment and help to live life and accept things as they are.
There's no such thing as problems, only issues and concerns. When you encounter them, focus your mind on the solutions and remedies rather issues and blames.
I like this post! Most of us need to be toughened up sometimes. Here are my comments
1) Of course other people have problems. I prefer to call them lessons.
2) I agree. Outside circumstances are rarely as important as our inner attitudes and method of handling things. A half decent environment can make it a heck of a lot easier though :)
3) Perfection is an elusive (perhaps impossible) goal. The best most of us can do is to strive towards it. Mistakes and failures are to be expected - even welcomed - otherwise, how would we learn and grow?
Excellent post. That's why living in the NOW is so important, instead of worrying about what may happen.
It is so right. The tough times don't last, but we come out a lot tougher! And looking back I think I am a better person for the experience. Although I would prefer not to do it again!
Thank You!
in a tough spot myself at the minute. Had almost forgotten it's like playing Jazz solos(which I'm going to do tonight with a new appreciation ;)if you make a mistake,play a note not quite in line, fantastic,play it again, and build on it. Goes for any type of music btw.