Five Ways to Stay Positive--Without Turning Into a Wimp
By: Bean Jones
The No-Quit Kid. The Karate Kid (1984) captured my imagination when I was a little boy because he simply wouldn't quit. This little movie may not have special effects or grand sets, but it made a huge impact on me It made me realize that you win whenever you get up from a fall.
Though there are people out there who brush off feel-good tips, I still believe that positive thinking should be practiced whenever possible. Why whine when you can find ways to make yourself--as well as the people around you--feel better?
No Whining Allowed
Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. I whine about the most mundane things. I hate it when elevators don't work. I grumble when I get elbowed in the jam-packed subway. I get irked by people who treat waiters badly. (I was one in the summer of my senior year in high school and I know how hard it can be to meet some customers' demands.)
Then again, it takes way more energy to be mad at the world than to roll with the punches.
Positive Power
So, I try to be positive...in a tough sort of way.
If there's such a thing as "tough love," then I think there should also be "tough positivism." This is exactly the kind of mindset that Dr. James E. Loehr, psychologist and author of books like The New Toughness Training for Sports and Stress for Success.
Tips for Champions
Though Loehr specializes in the mental conditioning of athletes, I find that most of the advice he gives applies to the most complex game of all--life. Here are five of his tips for winning the battle against the things that bring us down:
1. Keep your chuckle--no matter what. When you think funny or silly thoughts, fear and anger vaporize.
2. Tune in to the here-and-now. In any pressurized situation, thinking about the past or the future can lead to anger and frustration. Practice maintaining a moment-by-moment focus. Resist the urge to cry over the past or the temptation to get ahead of yourself.
3. Don't think or say, "I hate..." or "I can't." Learn to "bleep out" inflexible, rigid statements that can build emotional roadblocks.
4. Brainwash yourself into thinking like a winner. Whatever you don't want to do or are afraid you can't do, post signs everywhere saying, "I love..." (In my case it would be, "I love meeting my deadlines.") Write it 25 times a day and learn to think it.
5. Use adversity to get stronger. When possible, think of every crisis as an opportunity to grow, to extend beyond your normal limits. A major component of emotional toughness is learning the right attitudes when it comes to tough times.
The "You" Factor
While Loehr's tips are empowering--they're not, by any means, magic. Ultimately, the decision to dust yourself off and try to find your bearings after any hard fall is all up to you. Wise words may help, but you have to do the work. Wimping out on yourself is the worst thing you could do.
To make you sure that you know how to stick up for yourself in the face of adversity, check out the Kaizen Club, a Simpleology course that offers all sorts of kick-ass life skills. (No wimps allowed.)






